Merry Christmas!

The mom has been visited. The lost kitty has been found.  The rain has fallen and the snow is on its way.

Merry Christmas Eve.

On the way home from visiting Mom last night…

Um Dudes, Re: Packages

I think I mentioned this before, but please remember to send any packages for Mom to my house, not to Sunrise.

Cherie’s Christmas present arrived last week and when I got to Mom’s the empty box was by her chair and opened. No present in sight. After looking around a bit, I found the very nice fleece jacket hanging in her closet. So that was accounted for.

Then when we got there for the Christmas dinner, Lynne informed me that there were some presents from Tina that I should collect and take home. Then I get to bring them back to Mom for Christmas. So twice the schlepping.

The other thing, and I am planning to ask Lynne about this, is that when I picked up the packages, there was no box or unopened package addressed to Mom. There were just individual wrapped presents and cards. So I have no idea how many items were in there in the first place before whoever opened the mail.

FEDERAL OFFENSE messing with US Mail.

Whatever the reason you are sending stuff to Mom’s, whether you think you’re saving work for me carrying back and forth, or you just don’t want to have any contact with me, that is not the best way to ensure that she receives it. Send it to my house and she will get it.

Otherwise, all bets are off.

I wonder how many presents, etc. were in Tina’s package(s) and if I got them all. I guess we’ll never know on this round.

Next time, if you want Mom to receive it, send to me.

Dropping Like Flies?

I may have forgotten to mention that several folks on Reminiscence have died here lately. Lynne says “It’s the holidays.” and “Good for them.”

Totally agree.

The only good thing (besides it being YOUR relative…) is that most of the “wanderers” are among that group.

From recent visit. Tonite is the big holiday celebration. More later.

Our New Pastime…

Scrabble!  Of course, every round is a “practice” round, which works out fine.

Going in for another session this afternoon. The game had better be where I left it, her name written large on box.

Only in America…

Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front…

Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Photo Round-Up

Some photos from when Tina visited Mom. More on Flickr.

“I’m OK Most of the Time…”

“I just feel a little lonely tonight. I’m OK, I’m alright, I just feel a little lonely tonight…”

-Tom Petty

The loneliness is a heavy issue lately.

When we had Thanksgiving Dinner together, which was very nice, actually, and we enjoyed a great deal, she was so thankful and content, thanking me over and over for coming and saying, “This is my Thanksgiving.”

After we finished and got settled back in her room, we talked a little . At some point, she looked around the room and said, “It just gets so darn lonesome here” with a little sniff and cry in her voice.  Then she went on and said “It’s a perfectly nice room, it’s just so lonely.”  Breaking. My. Heart.

We talked about how she has been lonely for so long and I told her I tried to make her less lonely. She is very grateful and always says, “If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know what I’d do.”  When I visit, we talk about how she feels and home and animals, moments in the past, Dad and Dunc. Last time I saw her she said she wished she had a closer relationship with her mother, a frequent topic.

Since then I have been seeing her every couple of days, the last to take her an amaryllis we will watch grow together. She always says I came at the exact right time. That time, I got in the lobby just as the entertainment broke up and Isabelle was wheeling Mom toward the elevator. So at least she is getting out. I stayed in her room with her until dinnertime. We took a picture of the amaryllis.

I want to think of an activity, like reading aloud, or Scrabble or something that I can pop in and do with her frequently and not stay for hours.

Sad and unfair when you live so long and are basically A-OK, except physically; to suffer loneliness for so long seems like a slap in the face of human nature. What, you need less social activity just because you’re old?

That’s why my philosophy is; she has enough lotion, chapstick management, flowers, books, TV, tissue, Sharpies, nightgowns, etc. All those needs are taken care of, even her basic toilet taken care of which she does appreciate.

She wants somebody to spend time with her, tell her they love her, hold her hand, acknowledge that she’s lonely and do what we can about it. That’s what I try to do. Show up on her schedule, not yours. When is she dressed, receiving? It means so much to her and is simple to give.

She says over and over to me, “It’s so good of you to come;  you have your own life, husband, etc.”  I tell her, over and over, that I totally enjoy our visits, which I do.

The loneliness though, it weighs heavily and I hate this part too.

Internet Celebrity in My Neighborhood

Today I met Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman!

She was very friendly and personable and getting very, very rich from her blog and cookbook.

She is already plenty rich from her husband’s fourth generation cattle ranch, but hey, a few hundred thousand extra dollars never hurt anybody!

Happy Anniversary, Mom!

Today marks two years since Mom and I took the drive from Des Peres to Leawood.

Take a drive down Memory Lane here.

It Was Supposed to be LAST Saturday

Having a crazy morning. Then the doorbell rings, loud knocking. It is Victor, our Mexican helper (who did not show up last weekend…)

Had to tell him we didn’t have anything for him to do.

I had talked to his wife, Lupe, en espanol, admittedly and thought they knew it was set for last wekend – MANANA!

Felt sort of bad sending him away but maybe next weekend. They have little work in the winter and are barely making it.